Change is GOOD!

So I haven't written since the beginning of this year when I tried placing my African Grey with a local shop. My life has changed so much since that time... 

Bosun didn't work out with the shop. While he was fine for about three weeks, as the novelty of new people and places wore off, he began to stress out again. I won't go into all the details (probably couldn't even remember them correctly!) but I do remember that he was driving everyone wild by yelling HELP! HELP! HEEEELLP! over and over again from morning till night.

While he was living at the shop I was offered a new living situation that sounded wonderful - and has turned out to be better than imagined... but didn't include a space for him so I was fretting about what to do to get him out of his crazies when, miracle of miracles, friends living only one and a half miles from my new home, said they would be glad to have him live at their farm. So he and I are both flourishing in our new lives. He has a family with two teenage sons and a grade school daughter, one elderly cat, a Peruvian Guinea Pig, three goats, five ducks, 10 chickens and two peacocks. Life is never boring and he is great friends with the peacocks - who fly up to the porch almost daily to exchange pleasantries. He spends a portion of the week with me and I am delighted to report that his feathers have grown back and he is back to his happy, singing, talking, self. He is also a great source of fun for his new family during get togethers as he loves being with them and since his cage is in the living room he gets to join in on family activities... like when during an action scene in a movie he mutters (or eclaims - it depends on the kind of action) "Oh My God!" or when the boys are playing video games he is "shooting" them with his own rendition of a  lasergun, or when he suddenly joins them in laughter - which extends the laughing for several extra minutes because he has several different laughs and can really go on a tear with them all. When the group laughter begins to wind down he pulls out a different one and can really set a room into hysterics. I get to spend time with him out of his cage every week, and It is great to see him so happy again. 
My own new life is also full of pleasures of it's own... I now have 4 cats and two dogs in my care and a huge barn, studio, acres of woods, fields, and gardens, and terrific new people in my life. I have been introduced to the beautiful and unusual breed of Tervuran Belgian Shepherds, enjoyed our flock of mixed breed sheep, and spent my summer growing veggies and herbs to my heart's content. I have several lovely raised beds to work with and learned so much this year I am eager to get started on the next growing season.

I haven't been painting as much as I would have liked to think I would with all this beauty and time to enjoy it in... but have just been wonderfully busy with living... I imagine as the cold descends I will be pulling out the paints... I have painted a few things... mostly animals, as my life is filled with them.The image posted above is my favorite of my work from this April. It is an 11x14" oil portrait of one of the sheep here in his late Spring coat (which was shaved off two days later!) I am totally satisfied with this painting it so captures the beauty and gentle spirit of this fellow... and soon I expect I will begin creating my 2012 Christmas ornaments... 

Making Hard Decisions

For years, since the death of my father in 2003, I have been the sole caregiver for a now almost 12 year old African Grey Parrot named Bosun. He is an intelligent and complicated fellow, strong willed, affectionate, talkative, and demanding, and lately, I've felt I wasn't meeting his needs anymore. We have moved a few times in the past few years, living with other people along the way. None of those people were "bird people" and other than the occasional interaction, few had much interest in Bosun. When we lived alone, he seemed happy and content with me, but as we increased the size of "our flock" he began to grow fretful when people came home or visited but didn't interact with him. He began to shred his feathers - not to pull them out, but to groom them almost compulsively with the result that they were frayed on every edge. He also began to need constant attention from me, calling when I got out of site and needing to sit on me whatever I was doing. It was obvious that he wasn't feeling content anymore. I don't mean to make it sound worse than it was... but I was increasingly aware that my bird was no longer the happy singing /talking calm and confident bird he's always been. He was constantly saying "Are you alright? Are you OK?" and asking to come with me. When I would put him back in his cage, he often was angry and flung himself at the bars. When other people came into the house he'd call out to them in greeting but as he was usually ignored, he would get increasingly agitated and if I went out to see them he would begin to honk in a way that felt like fingernails on a chalkboard. I couldn't bring him with me because he could never understand that other people didn't want him on their shoulders... For years both friends and family often suggested my life would be free-er without Bosun, that I should find him a home and get my life back. I wouldn't consider it. I love Bo and knew of nowhere /no one who would love him more or give him more attention. With the changes I was seeing, I knew I had to reconsider. It occurred to me that what he really needed was to be surrounded by bird lovers. Not one or even two, he needed to have lots of interaction and attention - to be special to more than just me.
That is when I thought of a fellow who owned and managed the local pet supply store.He and his partner loved and cared for birds when their owners went out of town.  He had taken care of Bosun when I traveled, and Bosun liked and trusted him. He had often spoken of how much he wanted an African Grey and how lucky I was to have Bo. So I contacted him and asked what he thought of the idea of Bosun being their in-store bird. Meeting and Greeting Customers with his cage right up by the register with them. They thought it would be great and so we made a plan. Bosun would go to their store to live. I could stop in and visit and there would always be 2 or more people for him to be/interact with... at least during the daylight hours. Bosun needs a solid 12 hours of sleep and tends to be very sedate after sunset so I am thinking that alone time in the evening will be tolerable to him.
I took him there today for a week's trial, but I can't imagine that it won't work. I have an ache in my chest and the house seems empty without him, but I believe this is the right thing to do for his well being.

Bosun has not ever been my pet. He has been my roommate and my companion. In my opinion, no parrot is a pet. they are far too intelligent, strong willed, and independent to be considered domesticated. I hate that they must live in cages when they live with people, but they love to chew wood and cloth so furniture and furnishings in a house are always at risk if they are free and they cannot survive on their own outdoors. Ideally they wouldn't have to live in captivity - but of course that means no person would have the pleasure of a parrot in close relationship as I don't imagine parrots would choose to live with people over their natural flock.
I don't know what would be a better set up for a bird who is innately sociable and interactive. I can't believe how much I already miss him, I suppose that's why I'm going on and on. As if I can talk myself into feeling something besides this hole in my heart...

Leaving on a jet plane...

I am celebrating the 2011 Summer Solstice by heading off to the Southwest - somewhat of an odd summer plan - to leave the cool ocean breezes and the greens and blues of the Maine Coast for the hot winds and the sands, greys, and ochres of the Southern desert region. I am told the 90-110 degree summer temps there are heightened even more by all the forest fires burning, and that the famous blue skies are variegated by billowing plumes of wood smoke... but the flights are scheduled, the tickets bought, and unknown adventures await.

Dream Canyon - 24 x 30"oil $NFS

For many years I've had dreams and urgings to spend time in the Canyon lands  and red earth places - but until now the plans simply wouldn't gel. This time thanks to  friends, I will have some nice places to stay, wonderful guides for the region, and good company for those times when I need a break from solitude and painting.  The hardest thing was deciding what to take in the way of clothes... art supplies were an easy decision; watercolors. While there, I hope to catch some of the seasonal monsoon - a yearly deluge that comes complete with lightning that flashes for miles in the open skies. One of my destinations is full of natural hot springs, another is a magnet for rockhounds; full of jaspers, opals, and other lovely stones, and one is famous for it's "dark skies" which are said to allow one to see the Milky Way with the naked eye because there is no light pollution! ... but it is the Canyons - Grand, Bryce, Zion, Arches... any or all that thrill me. Imagine waking to sunrise in that terrain - and sunsets are sure to be memorable too! I'll be gone at least a month, and hope to return with a satchel worth of paintings.

Getting Ready

Today is Father's Day... it is also the day I must take my African Grey Parrot (inherited from my father in 2003) to the bird sanctuary where he is to spend the next 4-6 weeks while I head off to the Southwest. I tell myself that this is best - that he will enjoy the other birds and excellent care there, but of course my heart never listens to rationalizations. I struggle with the fear that he will feel discarded or abandoned. I wonder if he will like or fear the presence of the huge Macaws and Cockatoos that live there. I wonder if he will show off his repertoire of bird calls, songs, and vocabulary... or if he will feel shy and overwhelmed...

There is no other choice for now as my airplane passage is booked and people await me, but it is hard to leave a creature who cannot understand being left behind - especially knowing he has had others leave and never return. I know the people who run the sanctuary absolutely love birds and are very knowledgeable so he will be safe and well looked after, but I can't help but wonder how he will take my absence... and that he was my father's bird and today is Father's Day has me feeling all the more conflicted.
The only thing that helps at all is knowing that he is God's bird even more than my own, so I must trust that this will enrich his life in ways I cannot yet know... and perhaps my trip will begin a life for us both in sunshine and warmth come fall!

Going Southwest

After months of talking about it with friends in New Mexico and Arizona, today I bought the ticket and on the Summer Solstice will head out to the Southwest region for 4-6 weeks. I hope to spend time camping out in the Canyon-lands, as many as time allows and to see the Grand Canyon and experience a part of the earth I have known only through photos, video, and dreams in my almost 60 years on the planet! I am drawn to the red earth places and have a notion that they hold a piece of mystery I hope to explore... with luck I will find a horse to ride and some kindred souls to dance, and to share good food and fine times with. It is a journey I've wanted to take for a long time and now the pieces have fallen into place to make that possible. I want to paint there and wish I could take all my mediums as I am sure that the landscapes will beg for the silkiness of pastels and the richness of oils... but to travel by air is to travel light so my watercolors will be the ones to come along. I hope to get some good photos and sketches that will later develop into oils and pastels in the studio... and perhaps, if it is the place of magic I imagine, I will return to camp and paint in the Canyons for years to come.

Summer Pines

Summer is just around the corner, and though some folk hold out til the full moon of June to plant their gardens - Nature's is in full tilt. Trees that were bare a few weeks ago have filled out with leaf and blossom and gardens are a riot of color delight!
As I sat out in the back field, I painted a stand of pines that have been there as long as I can remember...

It is a quiet painting - nothing flashy or even all that colorful - unless you are a fan of greens, but the scene spoke to me in it's quiet strength...  so I am painting again.

Quick and easy image enhancement trick...

http://www.mcpactions.com/blog/2010/09/16/how-to-eliminate-background-distractions-in-photoshop/

This link takes you to a simple clear and concise explanation of how to remove unwanted backgrounds from your photos. It will greatly shorten the time it would take you any other way, and it can turn ho-hum into yum!

Winter Railroad Tracks

I've just finished another watercolor. This is not my usual subject matter, still I found the snow-covered railroad tracks, the way they curved gently through the trees, and the depth created by the misty winter air, most compelling. There is a quietness to the scene that really appeals to me.

With six new winter scenes added to my gallery I am eager to find a new subject - preferably something with some glorious color!

Two Watercolor Paintings

Today, using my new set of Yarka St Petersburg watercolors I painted all day.

The first painting is of a coastal tidal river cove, caught at low tide.

The second is of horses pastured in winter snow.

Still Painting :)

Though not exactly a  painting a day (I skipped a couple days...) I am still happily painting winter scenes. The light has been muted and diffused this last week and I am tending toward quiet vignettes. Today's is more detailed than the past few posts... though heaven knows not as detailed as actual nature!

Another Winter Painting

Today I painted another Watercolor - this one of a local stream tumbling over low ledges. Over the next few days I think I will work on varied versions of this stream as it is challenging to endeavor to capture the movement of the water over and around the snow laden rocks..

Winter Watercolor

It was a typical winter day in Maine today; sometimes sunny sometimes overcast. I drove around looking for a scene to paint... something simple-not too complicated, since I haven't been painting for a few months because of my arm injury and resultant Brachial Plexis and "Frozen Shoulder".
It was a world of white out there today with 12 inches of fresh snow piled on top of the 18 or more already on the ground. The contours around the countryside vistas are all soft and peaceful... in many places the snow has fallen so thick it has totally buried the stream-beds!
I wandered out to Skyline farm in North Yarmouth and found an ideal composition for today's mood.
So here it is, my first watercolor of 2011 :)

Sketching in NY & The Body Exhibition

Took out my sketchbook to work my hand for the first time in several months while cruising through NYC last week. After months of an arm that would not lift and a hand that seemed to leap erratically when I tried to  draw, it was fun to sketch again - and even more fun to have the usually aloof  NYers complement and encourage me.  

 

This was my first sketch on the NYC subway

Following my subway ride I went to the Body Exhibition in the Seaport

This first Body sketch was difficult for me as it was so strange to see all the muscles and sinews exposed and in some cases even peeled back to expose other muscle groups below them and the second attempt failed entirely so I tried another figure from the back as it followed more recognizable patterns - the muscles actually looking much like they do under the skin, except for the buttocks which, with all the fat removed, seemed incredibly flat.

I am not sure anyone would call this art but it was a start to getting my hand in again and it was certainly challenging to illustrate the familiar in such an unfamiliar way! I think NYers are fortunate to have such excellent subjects to hone observation and rendering skills... 

Now that I'm back in Maine again, the piles and piles of snow and snow covered objects are stirring my desire to record the incredible beauty and contrasts of white on white, white on dark, and white mounding into all sorts of mysterious forms!

They've started the Anti Choice Campaign

The anti choice people have started their campaigning early this year in preparation for the upcoming elections of 2010. Tonight I saw one of their new commercials on TV - the one where a woman says that abortions should not be a method of birth control.(Siting that a percentage of women have more than one)... She suggests that abortion is not a personal choice but a reflection of one's community with the tagline "What are we thinking?" ..."We" apparently being other adults who believe that adults should have the right to make their own choices for their own lives and families.

It is no longer my fight as a woman whose childbearing years are over, but the self righteous intrusion and sanctimonious tone used in the commercial immediately irritated me. For me it is hard to tolerate women who think they have the duty/right to determine how/what other adult women decide with regards to reproduction. I would never force someone else to bear a child. Neither would I force someone to abort. It is not my decision. It is not my resources that will be called upon. It is not my position to decide for someone else whether they will or will not bring another life into this world to raise or put up for adoption. It is a choice and a decision that only a parent can make. Only they will bear the responsibility for the satisfactions, sorrows, and struggles of their choices. Any and every other person's opinion on the matter is superfluous to a very personal and private decision.

When our society provides all children with the food, shelter, medical care, education, and protection from abuse (mental, physical, emotional, sexual, or financial) and sees them into successful adulthood regardless of race creed or color, then and only then, can "we" rightfully say that society has the ethical right to determine whether pregnancy should be legislated to result in a living child.

Challenges and Changes

Today I received this message in an email..."Your mind does not know the difference between an actual event and something that you are just thinking about. When you think about something with emotion all of a sudden your mind becomes focused on that thought with an intensity that draws the subject of the thought to you. It does not matter what the emotion is, all that matters is that you have invoked emotion and the higher the degree of emotion the more powerfully you are attracting whatever you are thinking about. The power of anger is just as attractive as the power of love. Here’s the key; if you want to manifest something into your life think about it with a lot of emotion. Intensify the emotion and you turn up the attraction factor. Yes, we live in a cause and effect universe and emotions affect the cause."

These ideas seem particularly pertinent to me right now as my life has been thrown into an upheaval of change that contrasts fears with possibilities around what-could-happen. Fear on this level is not familiar to me. I'm usually a big fan of trusting myself and life... the difference this time is that two key security pillows are missing... income and base location. In February I must move from my home of 3 decades. Rents have tripled around me, so with minimal income sources in the area, my sense of equanimity is chaotic... I must consider leaving the familiar for the unknown ... and without any tangible safety net, I am experiencing a lot of anxiety - and yet almost as impressive, I am having dreams of a different life; A life set in unknown places - not the well loved and familiar Midcoast shores of Maine... places warm and sunny with forests of different trees... I get twinges of excitement and joy considering these unknown places - and wonder what focusing of emotion or thought would pull them into manifestation or even how I can identify them for clarity.  I am on a roller coaster of feelings and intuition, practical and etherial awareness.

In the meantime I must empty closets and discard what I do not need... Quite the challenge!

A perspective on Reality

On Saturday evening (11/21) I traveled to the Penobscot Reservation on Indian Island to watch the independent documentary "Trudell" and hear poet/AIM activist/actor... John Trudell speak after the film. I am still feeling the experience, absorbing his words...
I am very impressed by this man. He is eloquent. He is self aware. He is passionate but rational. For me he speaks truth, pure and simple. Much of what he said was not new to me, but I had not realized it's pervasiveness. Native people have dealt with the reality since 1492... but those of us who are of mixed or non-native descent, have not understood how destructive of the human experience our national legal/political/financial systems are. Trudell considers economic policy
John states it simply. These policies are insane. They are anti life. They are anti nature. They are founded on economic properties that ignore law and seek to dis-empower individual responsibility. His focus on personal responsibility is what I am working to absorb. Having been raised in a culture that celebrates property and privilege, it is sacrilege in our national conversation to suggest that life choices that are based on acquisition and "power" are not a true pathway to a good life as a human being. It is a truth that I have always intuitively felt but never had affirmed by the people around me. To hear him speak is to finally understand my own discomfort and alienation with/from my culture's morays. I have not lived with this awareness long enough yet to know how or what my future choices will look like... I am still ruminating... my body, spirit, heart and head are not in accord yet as I have no answers...
I am allowing my spirit to take the lead. I love how Trudell's spirit when faced with "reality" is based in awareness, recognition, and the power innate within individual consciousness rather than in fear or anger. I am determined that is the direction of the path of a true Human Being. John Trudell on the Identity of being a Human Being

A new Gadget

Just curious to see how this works... blogging from  my iGoogle page - Seems good for short posts... course mine are rarely short!

Shifting Fortunes

Have you ever awakened with a premonition of change? That something wonderful was about to happen for you? Nothing you could explain or even pinpoint... just the awareness that the energy had shifted and possibilities were waiting to manifest...
That is what I'm feeling today, and I'm very excited about it. Lately I have been working at clearing the clutter of my life... things and dynamics that no longer serve... and I feel like I am standing on the other side of a tipping point! So... one more trip to the dump with another load of flotsam and jetsam, and then I am going to paint something that expresses the potential I am feeling...

How Now Brown Cow

Thursday started out with irritation - the awareness that some relationships are a vexation more than a pleasure. Fortunately as the hours progressed my mood lightened.
I was able to help a friend and generate some income too...
I have worked  for the needs of others too often without benefiting... and so I intend reciprocity from here on out. I've found that often, the ones you give something free to - do not honor either the gift or you in the bargain!
I had some good conversations throughout the day... so the morning's irritant was a catalyst for moving on and keeping only what serves. A useful awareness that could prove to be a solid foundation to build upon in the future.

An abundance of life...

Yesterday I once again returned to Sears Island. My purpose was to witness the use of a 60 foot Beach Seine that would indicate what sort of "biomass" would be found this late in the fall, in the shallow waters along the island's western beach near the causeway. Much to my surprise the "catch" was impressive.

The net was set about 50 feet from the edge of the beach, and walked back to shore, when examined it contained an abundance of small shrimp,  a variety of different species of fish from an inch to 6 inches in size, many green crabs, some loose mussels, and innumerable other tiny creatures. The abundance and fading light made it impossible to get an accurate count without jeopardizing the lives of the fragile creatures, but it intimates that the shoals off Sears Island are a vital ecosystem for immature marine life - even in the late fall.

As others managed the net, I took photos of the late fall color of the island. The shore was varying shades of crimson, purples, indigo, ultramarine, and bits of gold and silver with the oncoming sunset. My photo (above) doesn't do it justice as the fading sun light made it impossible for my camera to record the colors as I saw them... but it was deep and luscious to say the least!